The Real Mortal Kombat
by Niwatori Shimauma
Summary: M just to be safe...Mortal Kombat behind the scenes!
1. The real MK ch 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Mortal Kombat nor will I ever

Hey all! This is my second crappy try at a fan fic! Hope you like it!

**The Real Mortal Kombat!**

Scorpion is in a super market

Scorpion: Well, here we go

He puts a big bag of toilet paper on the counter.

Store Clerk: That'll be $21.50 sir.

Dokuga Strike: Now there's one thing you should know about Scorpion before I continue...he's fucking crazy.

Scorpion: Ok, here ya go

Scorpion gives the money to the store clerk

Store Clerk: Um...sir...your missing 10 cents

Scorpion: Are you making fun of me? That's it! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!

Store Clerk :What?

Scorpion: You heard me penis wrinkle! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!

Store Clerk: Your in a store

Scorpion: Yeah but...

Store Clerk: But look at you! Your in top physical condition! You'll kick my ass.

Scorpion: Oh, I'm not worried at all...now get over here!

A hook-shot type thing comes out of Scorpion's hand and stabs the store clerk thus pulling him towards Scorpion

Scorpion punches him twice and he falls to the floor

Random voice from nowhere: Scorpion wins! Round 2...round 2!

Scorpion: I don't think he's getting up

Raiden: Hey who ate all the cookies? I'm looking in your direction Scorpion!

Scorpion: You always blame me for this kinda crap! That's it! Mortal Kombat.

Raiden: That's what you always say when people don't agree with you. Why do you challenge people to Mortal Kombat anyway?

Scorpion: Because Mortal Kombat is the ultimate test of speed, strength, and agility...plus you get to kick peoples' asses and that's always cool

Sub-Zero: No argument here. Hey who ate all the cookies?

Raiden: That's what we're trying to figure out.

Sub-Zero: Did you ask Scorpion and now he's challenging you to Mortal Kombat?

Raiden: Yyyyep

Sub-Zero: So how many people have you challenged to Mortal Kombat anyway?

Scorpion: weeeelllll...

_**FLASHBACK**_

Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( old lady )

Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( blind guy )

Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( cat )

Cat: Miow!

_**REALITY**_

Scorpion: Pretty much everyone cept that guy down the street...aaannd most of the guys from 60 seconds

Raiden: Why the guys from 60 seconds?

Scorpion: Because what they say confuses me...

Sub-Zero: The cat was pretty low, but the old lady and the blind guy?

Scorpion: I know, you'd think they'd offer more of a challenge, both down in the first round.

Raiden: Well, I bet you 50 bucks you can't go a day without challenging someone to Mortal Kombat

Scorpion: Ha! Easiest 50 bucks I ever made, I accept your weak-ass bet!

_5 minutes later_

Scorpion: Hello, help line? I think I'm going crazy! Its been a whole 5 minutes and I haven't challenged anyone to Mortal Kombat! Hello? Hello? FUCKER!

Scorpion throws the phone out the window

Sub-Zero walks up

Sub-Zero: So how's the bet going?

Scorpion: Well, it feels like I lost a part of me and-

Sub-Zero: Yeah Whatever, you suck

Scorpion: What? I challenge you to-

Sub-Zero: Aaah, can't say it can you? Ha! I'm gonna milk this for all its worth! I slept with your mom... and it was hot! And your sister too, man I just got on top of her and-

Scorpion: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scorpion: And he was all like "I slept with your mom and-"

Liu-Kang: A wise man once said " Words are nothing but empty expressions of the soul"

Scorpion: What the hell does that mean? Fuck, now I'm just confused. Your stupid! I challenge you to-

Raiden walks up from nowhere

Raiden: Hey Scorpion, how's the bet going?

Scorpion: Oh, not bad... I think I'm starting to get the hang of it...

Raiden: Good 'cuz Sub-Zero's painting Scorpion sucks all over your room

Scorpion: I'll kill that bastard!

Scorpion runs off

Liu-Kang: How long do you think he will last?

Raiden: Probably till supper, or have a nervous break down... whatever comes first

_Only 5 minutes left in_ _the day_

Scorpion's thoughts: Just 5...more...minutes

Sub-Zero: Hey Scorpion! I thought of a whole new list of insults... ahem, your dumb, your stupid, you smell bad, I hate you, I slept with your mom...again...

Scorpion's thoughts: just 2...more...minutes...!

Sub-Zero: You suck-

POW! Scorpion socked Sub-Zero in the face

Sub-Zero: ow

Scorpion: Raiden aaid nothing about hitting you!

Sub-Zero: Come on man...lighten up

Sub-Zero backs away

Raiden walks up

Raiden: Scorpion you did it! I"m impressed! So what did you learn?

Scorpion: Gimme my fucking money

Raiden hands him the money

Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Combat!

_**END**_

**Author's Notes:** This was my second try at a fan fic so I know its terrible... I got the idea from a flash cartoon that I saw once, it was so funny that I just had to share with all you fans out there! Please review


	2. The real MK ch 2

1**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mortal Kombat

Well, originally, I wasn't gonna post another MK fic...but here it is anyway...

**The Real Mortal Kombat 2!**

Scorpion is sitting on a couch

Sub-Zero: Hey ass! Get your ass off the couch!

Scorpion: Go away or I'll challenge you to Mortal Kombat

Sub-Zero: Fine, I'll just kick your ass

Scorpion: Can you say anything without the word ass innit?

Sub-Zero: No ass hole

Raiden: Sub-Zero shut up! There could be possible young viewers!

Scorpion: Those fuckers that aren't 17 or older should pay attention to the damn rating then!

Raiden: That's true...fuck, damn, ass, bitch, shit!

Sub-Zero: Great...now you got 'im started

Raiden goes on a massive killing spree for the next few hours cussing like there's no tomorrow

Scorpion: Well, I'm bored! I say we join Raiden

Sub-Zero: That would just get us in more trouble, and...h-hey where'd he go?

Scorpion was already outside and has joined Raiden in random cussing and random killing

Sub-Zero: Shit...now I'm fuckin' bored...

Sub-Zero, of course, has now joined Raiden and Scorpion in random cussing and killing

_**LATER**_

Raiden: Shit...fuck...damn...ass...phew, OK I"m done!

Scorpion: You do know we owe like $600,000 for everything we just did right?

Raiden: Shit...

Sub-Zero: What all do we owe for?

Scorpion: Lets look at the god damn long list of complaints and convictions

The list reads:

**Over 100 different killings in the same local area 45 times** **$1000**

**Broken windows, bones, antiques, souls, and multiple works of art $110,000**

**15,00 banks broken into and robbed from** ** $40**0,000

**And many many more!**

Scorpion: Sooo, how're we gonna raise $600,000 in a week?

Sub-Zero: I have an idea!

_**LATER**_

Sub-Zero: Bake sale! Get your baked goods right here!

Scorpion: I can't believe we let him talk us into having a fucking bake sale...

Costumer: Hello, I wanna cookie

Sub-Zero: Alright then!

Sub-Zero pulls out an old, grimy, green, cookie

Raiden whispers: I thought you said these things were fresh

Scorpion whispers: Believe it or not, they were...

Costumer takes a bite and dies...

Sub-Zero: Fuck...

Scorpion checks his pocket and finds his wallet

Scorpion: Hey we can sell people rotten food and kill 'em to get money!

Sub-Zero: Not bad...not bad at all...

_**LATER**_

Raiden: Well we finally worked up the money!

Police guy: Yes you raised the money but...you killed even more people in the process

Scorpion: And?

Police guy: Now you owe more money!

Scorpion: Shit...well...I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!

Police guy: Mortal Kombat?

Scorpion: Y-yeah...Get over here!

A weird hook shot like thing comes outta Scorpion's hand and stabs the police guy and he is pulled toward Scorpion

Scorpion: I use a weird blast that looks strangely like a kamehameha!

A kamehameha type thing shoots out of Scorpion's hand and incinerates the police guy

Random voice from nowhere: Scorpion Wins!

Scorpion: That takes care of everything

Raiden: but we still owe-

Scorpion: Shutup! If you say that, then Niwatori will have to waste more of his life typing meaningless things about nothing, for the amusement of others!

Raiden: Oh...well...

Sub-Zero: The End!

Scorpion: When did you get here?

Sub-Zero: Oh, I've been here! I've just been hiding in a secluded corner thinking about death

Scorpion: Oh...weirdo...

All: THE END!

**Author's Notes:** Well it was less funny than the first but...whatever I just wanted to add another chapter to it! R&R but NO FLAMING!


End file.
